Change and Growth can be painful.

Isn’t that the truth?

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the past few years is that our ability to navigate change, uncertainty and the resistance that comes with it has a big impact on our health, relationships and fulfillment in life.

Because the only thing that is constant in life is the fact that things change. Knowing this, I often wonder why it's SO difficult.

There are three things that become our superpowers if we want to change something in our life. We get CALM. We get CONNECTED. We get COURAGE.

When we’re talking about getting “calm” it’s really about learning how to regulate our nervous system. When we are in a perpetual state of “fight/flight/freeze” or in other words, stressed out, we are not able to see anything clearly.

We are physiologically in survival mode and in this mode our ability to gain clarity about what exactly we need to change in our life is limited.

Making changes in our lives, especially the big ones, requires that we do so from a place of being grounded and centred in our core truths about who we are and what we need.

Access to this level of insight and awareness requires a calm presence.

Calmness breeds clarity.

Now that our nervous system is settled and we’re feeling calmer, we can connect with our bodies, minds and hearts. The source of wisdom for what feels right for us and who we’re meant to become.

We are all born with this inner GPS that guides us in letting us know what feels right for us and what feels wrong.

Learning how to connect in with ourselves in a noisy world is a real superpower.

Although we may find it helpful to seek guidance from others, at the end of the day we know what is right for us.

There are three questions that are powerful to ask yourself:

Who am I?

What is my heart’s desire?

How can I best love myself?

Get COURAGE

Now that we’re calm and connected, we’ll begin to get messages from our inner voice about what the next step is in moving towards the desired change.

Many of us feel that we need to have it all figured out before we get started. But, the truth is we just need to take one small baby step at a time.

As you think about taking that one baby step, be prepared for resistance.

There is nothing about change that feels comfortable. As soon as you begin to even think about making some changes, your body and mind will react and set off the warning signs-signalling danger.

When you’re prepared for this resistance, you can assure yourself that it’s “normal” and not a sign that you’re not supposed to change.

This is where the “courage” comes in.

Just like building new muscles at the gym feels uncomfortable, growing into a new way of “being” feels uncomfortable.

It doesn’t matter if the change involves beginning to use your voice in relationships, setting healthy boundaries, getting a new job, letting go of trying to control things, inviting someone out on a date, sharing your feelings- it is going to feel uncomfortable.

Having navigated some significant changes in my own life over the past few years, I now know that the level of happiness and contentment in our lives is directly related to our ability to find the courage and manage the discomfort.

Because if we don’t learn how to navigate the changes that life requires of us we will not thrive. This failure to thrive often looks like health issues, emotional challenges and relationship troubles.

When we learn how to get calm, connected and find the courage to take action that aligns with our souls, we really begin to soar in our lives.

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But, nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong.

~N.R. Narayana Murthy